So going home the day of the final verdict was the same as going home the day before. Police, unmarked cars. That "please God, let me just get home" feeling. I was so glad to be finished I can't tell you. I got home and of course Lisa already knew, she gets to read and watch the news. Then I started reading the links document Lisa made for me. I was so grateful that the jury came to the verdict we did. There were witnesses that REALLY would have cinched it but we weren't allowed to hear at the last minute, there were more people dead and the murderer was paid by the defendant to do the killing. No wonder people were scared. No wonder we had so many guards.
The justice system in this case worked, though I had many doubts during the process about specifically what we were NOT being allowed to see. There were obvious holes in the evidence that once I was able to read what happened in the courtroom when we weren't present were filled. The jurors all knew we were missing things, we had to go on the evidence we had. If we had seen what we missed, known what we were not allowed to know, I have a feeling this sentence would have been death. Hard to say, but I'm reasonably sure the vote would have swung the other way.
Reading the comments on the verdict articles, of course many people that comment like that are nut-balls anyway but its annoying that people can say things when they are totally ignorant of the process. The jury was called a bunch of cowards who wouldn't issue the death penalty, the judge a liberal who wouldn't overturn the jury's verdict and obey the law. Sheesh. Get a clue people. There is law, it is hard and fast and that is what we all go by. The judge CAN'T overturn the jury's verdict. Period. The law is the law, don't like it, change it, but don't call people who spent 11 days of their lives agonizing over this case cowards until you sit in that chair yourself.
I made Lisa take me to a Mexican food place because I wanted a margarita and while I was on the phone with LT Dan she ordered me the biggest one they had. I drank it ALL. Yep, I was sorta smashed, came home and went straight to sleep at eight. LOL
Of course now that I COULD talk about it, husband did not want me to talk about it. I think he didn't understand I needed to get it out of my system. I can't say his saying things like "you don't need to think about that any more" were really helpful. At some point we are going to have to talk about that. Lisa listened, now you have listened. I feel better, thank you.
There is much I can't say, I really don't want to come up on someone's search and I really do want to stay as anonymous as possible. You can ask me and I will answer, and that, by the way is legal, I just won't answer here in public. In the end, two kids went to buy some pot and ended up dead. That just scares the sh*t out of me, the very idea. The lack of conscience. It's stunning really.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Civic Duty-part three
Trials in real court are not like television. Much. Evidence gets presented and witnesses get presented but its kind of interesting. The order is not so orderly, it appeared to be rather random to me and the other jurors. We were dismissed a LOT. There was so much evidence we were not allowed to hear or see, we were amazed at that. We would go into the jury room and look at each other and go "well, they're arguing again."
Apparently the defense won a lot of the arguments. We had no way of knowing just how much we were not allowed to know until after the trial was over and we could read the news coverage. THEY are allowed to see everything and print everything. Since this is the only trial I've ever done...I dunno, I'm telling you what I experienced. I asked my sister to make document of links to every single thing she read about the trial so that when it was over I could read it. Bless her, she did it for me.
It's rough to look at pictures of basically children (16 and 17) laying on a dirt road face down after being shot execution style. Autopsy results are icky, pictures of autopsy processes are really icky. At the same time, you have to pay attention to every single detail so you find an objective place in your head and carry on.
Witnesses were interesting. This trial is three years after the fact. The witnesses were very young at the time, and are still very young. It was hard for me not to be aghast at the whole thing. Kids. High school. Good Lord.
Then there were other witnesses, not so young, and not so innocent. The ones in prison for various crimes, all drug related. ICE, Crack, Cocaine, Pot, Armed Robbery. ICK.
There were witnesses that were obviously afraid. That was disconcerting and we all noticed it.
There was one point when we were dismissed and though we weren't allowed to talk about the trial one of the jurors said..."I swear if they brought out the box of ballistic evidence one more time I was going to just cry." Another (male) juror replied with a high-pitched "Noooooooo, not the box! Please not the box!" There were eleven envelopes in that box and four witnesses each identified each of the eleven envelopes. So we are talking forty-four times watching someone identify an envelope, then open the envelope, then open the contents, say what it was and put it back. The entire jury room burst into laughter. Sometimes, you just have to laugh even though the whole thing is life and death serious. That was also the only time we said anything about the trial when we weren't deliberating.
The defendant never took the stand. In a capital case the defense is actually required to do nothing. The onus is on the State to prove the defendant guilty literally beyond a shadow of a reasonable doubt.
There was no "hard" evidence. Every single piece of evidence against the defendant was witness testimony. Wednesday, day six of the trial and day eight for us jurors (I count weekends, you can't get really away from it though I tried hard) we heard closing arguments and went to deliberate. On that day when we arrived we were instructed to return our cell phones to our cars so we had no contact with anyone. Alternates were dismissed and it wasn't me :(
It took us five hours. Five hours. We reviewed every single piece of evidence, then we reviewed every single witness and evaluated the weight of their testimony, we reviewed notes for exact testimony (this is where my college note taking skills really were crucial--I had them all word for word). The verdict in a capital trial has to be unanimous. We strictly followed the law as the judge gave it to us (printed). We had one juror who was not convinced, basically she didn't believe my notes so we went back to the judge and asked that the transcript be read to us. Yep, word for word, I had what that person said. It was a crucial piece. The juror changed her mind and we had a unanimous guilty verdict.
So at 7pm ish we returned to the courtroom with our verdict. Courtroom was packed. The judge reads the verdict and then the defense wants the jury polled. They call your full name, ask if this is your verdict. Peachy keen. People were taken from the court room for being disruptive. Other people were crying. The jury is just trying to maintain and get through this. So we're dismissed again to the jury room.
When we are called back in the judge tells us that tomorrow we do the penalty phase and dismisses us to go home for the day. As we are leaving the court house (those of us who go the same way have begun a system of following each other to the various turn offs and keeping eyes out for each other as we drive home) we see tons of city police in the front parking lot. They have corralled a bunch of people. We get the hell out of Dodge. As each of us turns off we also realize we are all being followed. In the city we have city police, as we leave the city we have unmarked cars. Each turning off or making u-turns at specific points. *blink*
The penalty phase day was just as long. The defendant is now in a prison suit and handcuffed and shackled rather than being dressed in a suit-- you are innocent until proven guilty but once guilty it becomes painfully obvious. We hear prosecution and defense arguments. We retreat to the jury room to deliberate. I don't think any of the jurors slept the night before. We all pretty much knew our verdict but we did the process. Item by item, against the law as the judge gave it to us for the penalty phase. We voted in a blind vote this time to let each juror vote without concern. In the penalty phase the verdict does not have to be unanimous, it is the majority. Vote was three death, nine life in prison. Done.
Apparently the defense won a lot of the arguments. We had no way of knowing just how much we were not allowed to know until after the trial was over and we could read the news coverage. THEY are allowed to see everything and print everything. Since this is the only trial I've ever done...I dunno, I'm telling you what I experienced. I asked my sister to make document of links to every single thing she read about the trial so that when it was over I could read it. Bless her, she did it for me.
It's rough to look at pictures of basically children (16 and 17) laying on a dirt road face down after being shot execution style. Autopsy results are icky, pictures of autopsy processes are really icky. At the same time, you have to pay attention to every single detail so you find an objective place in your head and carry on.
Witnesses were interesting. This trial is three years after the fact. The witnesses were very young at the time, and are still very young. It was hard for me not to be aghast at the whole thing. Kids. High school. Good Lord.
Then there were other witnesses, not so young, and not so innocent. The ones in prison for various crimes, all drug related. ICE, Crack, Cocaine, Pot, Armed Robbery. ICK.
There were witnesses that were obviously afraid. That was disconcerting and we all noticed it.
There was one point when we were dismissed and though we weren't allowed to talk about the trial one of the jurors said..."I swear if they brought out the box of ballistic evidence one more time I was going to just cry." Another (male) juror replied with a high-pitched "Noooooooo, not the box! Please not the box!" There were eleven envelopes in that box and four witnesses each identified each of the eleven envelopes. So we are talking forty-four times watching someone identify an envelope, then open the envelope, then open the contents, say what it was and put it back. The entire jury room burst into laughter. Sometimes, you just have to laugh even though the whole thing is life and death serious. That was also the only time we said anything about the trial when we weren't deliberating.
The defendant never took the stand. In a capital case the defense is actually required to do nothing. The onus is on the State to prove the defendant guilty literally beyond a shadow of a reasonable doubt.
There was no "hard" evidence. Every single piece of evidence against the defendant was witness testimony. Wednesday, day six of the trial and day eight for us jurors (I count weekends, you can't get really away from it though I tried hard) we heard closing arguments and went to deliberate. On that day when we arrived we were instructed to return our cell phones to our cars so we had no contact with anyone. Alternates were dismissed and it wasn't me :(
It took us five hours. Five hours. We reviewed every single piece of evidence, then we reviewed every single witness and evaluated the weight of their testimony, we reviewed notes for exact testimony (this is where my college note taking skills really were crucial--I had them all word for word). The verdict in a capital trial has to be unanimous. We strictly followed the law as the judge gave it to us (printed). We had one juror who was not convinced, basically she didn't believe my notes so we went back to the judge and asked that the transcript be read to us. Yep, word for word, I had what that person said. It was a crucial piece. The juror changed her mind and we had a unanimous guilty verdict.
So at 7pm ish we returned to the courtroom with our verdict. Courtroom was packed. The judge reads the verdict and then the defense wants the jury polled. They call your full name, ask if this is your verdict. Peachy keen. People were taken from the court room for being disruptive. Other people were crying. The jury is just trying to maintain and get through this. So we're dismissed again to the jury room.
When we are called back in the judge tells us that tomorrow we do the penalty phase and dismisses us to go home for the day. As we are leaving the court house (those of us who go the same way have begun a system of following each other to the various turn offs and keeping eyes out for each other as we drive home) we see tons of city police in the front parking lot. They have corralled a bunch of people. We get the hell out of Dodge. As each of us turns off we also realize we are all being followed. In the city we have city police, as we leave the city we have unmarked cars. Each turning off or making u-turns at specific points. *blink*
The penalty phase day was just as long. The defendant is now in a prison suit and handcuffed and shackled rather than being dressed in a suit-- you are innocent until proven guilty but once guilty it becomes painfully obvious. We hear prosecution and defense arguments. We retreat to the jury room to deliberate. I don't think any of the jurors slept the night before. We all pretty much knew our verdict but we did the process. Item by item, against the law as the judge gave it to us for the penalty phase. We voted in a blind vote this time to let each juror vote without concern. In the penalty phase the verdict does not have to be unanimous, it is the majority. Vote was three death, nine life in prison. Done.
Civic Duty-part two
Thursday is day four and we start the trial. There are fourteen of us because there are two alternates. We don't know who the alternates are until after closing arguments, at that point two of us get dismissed so the twelve remaining can begin deliberation. Oh boy, ok here we go.
I am juror number one. We each have an envelope with our number on it at our chairs, chairs are assigned by number too so that's where you always sit. I had a column by me, I was happy about that, it meant only half of the courtroom was looking at me and the line of news people on one side of the courtroom were the other side of my column. News people aren't allowed to take pictures or video of jurors and they are watched carefully to see that they don't, thank goodness. In our envelope is our note pad, we take notes and our note pad stays in the courtroom until we have to deliberate and is locked up at night. The jurors aren't allowed to talk about the case with each other or anyone else. By now, I haven't read a paper or watched the news for four days.
Mostly this first day we are sitting in the jury room waiting. We start two hours after we arrive, hear opening arguments and see our first bits of real information--not evidence but the "story" as presented by prosecution and defense. We are dismissed from the courtroom for another hour after this and return to be dismissed for lunch. I brought my lunch, as planned with two other women on the jury, we have to wear jury tags everywhere we go and the idea of walking a couple blocks to a restaurant with a big X on me didn't appeal really. Since we are spending the majority of our time in a courtroom or in a windowless jury room we decided to eat outside at some picnic tables.
I need to add some things here. The courtroom is guarded. There are two guards for the defendant, two bailiffs at each of the doors and two bailiffs on the other side of my column. Then there is a bailiff that sits up in between the witness stand and us. He's our bailiff who helps us with whatever we need and comes and talks to us when there is a bench conference between attorneys and the judge (so we don't overhear.) So there are nine armed people in this courtroom in addition to it being pretty full of families and other interested folks. I'm really starting to wonder now about just who it is I'm dealing with here.
Beginning the first day of trial we park in a designated area and we are told to arrive in the morning at a specific 15 minute interval. When we arrive there are sheriffs deputy's outside watching for us. We enter through a locked employee door that takes a key card to unlock to come in AND go out. We are wanded, our belongings x-rayed (shoes too) and when we enter the jury room we go in a locked door, down a short hall, in another locked door to the jury room. I started wearing my plastic "its a belt" so I wouldn't have to take my belt off every time I entered the building--my pants kept falling down while I was trying to put my shoes on!
So yeah, this is my world for as long as this trial takes, 13 strangers, lots of guards, locked doors. K, back to lunch. We wait to be let out and tell them we are eating outside at the picnic tables across from our entrance door. Off we go. While we're eating our lunch and getting to know each other we realize there is a deputy outside, he's guarding us. My state of mind has been set to CYA (cover your ass) as it is--all this guarding only heightens that state of mind.
We stay outside as long as we can, with only short "comfort breaks" where I convinced non-smokers to go outside with smokers so we all could have sunshine and fresh air, and lunch time, we are inside a building so we take full advantage of the whole hour to be outside. That's pretty much how it goes for all the remaining days of the trial. A couple of times when we had much longer breaks we walked a block away for coffee, other than that we three stayed right there with our guards.
I think that's all the really wordy stuff so I'll make a part three about the trial part and try not to write a novel?
I am juror number one. We each have an envelope with our number on it at our chairs, chairs are assigned by number too so that's where you always sit. I had a column by me, I was happy about that, it meant only half of the courtroom was looking at me and the line of news people on one side of the courtroom were the other side of my column. News people aren't allowed to take pictures or video of jurors and they are watched carefully to see that they don't, thank goodness. In our envelope is our note pad, we take notes and our note pad stays in the courtroom until we have to deliberate and is locked up at night. The jurors aren't allowed to talk about the case with each other or anyone else. By now, I haven't read a paper or watched the news for four days.
Mostly this first day we are sitting in the jury room waiting. We start two hours after we arrive, hear opening arguments and see our first bits of real information--not evidence but the "story" as presented by prosecution and defense. We are dismissed from the courtroom for another hour after this and return to be dismissed for lunch. I brought my lunch, as planned with two other women on the jury, we have to wear jury tags everywhere we go and the idea of walking a couple blocks to a restaurant with a big X on me didn't appeal really. Since we are spending the majority of our time in a courtroom or in a windowless jury room we decided to eat outside at some picnic tables.
I need to add some things here. The courtroom is guarded. There are two guards for the defendant, two bailiffs at each of the doors and two bailiffs on the other side of my column. Then there is a bailiff that sits up in between the witness stand and us. He's our bailiff who helps us with whatever we need and comes and talks to us when there is a bench conference between attorneys and the judge (so we don't overhear.) So there are nine armed people in this courtroom in addition to it being pretty full of families and other interested folks. I'm really starting to wonder now about just who it is I'm dealing with here.
Beginning the first day of trial we park in a designated area and we are told to arrive in the morning at a specific 15 minute interval. When we arrive there are sheriffs deputy's outside watching for us. We enter through a locked employee door that takes a key card to unlock to come in AND go out. We are wanded, our belongings x-rayed (shoes too) and when we enter the jury room we go in a locked door, down a short hall, in another locked door to the jury room. I started wearing my plastic "its a belt" so I wouldn't have to take my belt off every time I entered the building--my pants kept falling down while I was trying to put my shoes on!
So yeah, this is my world for as long as this trial takes, 13 strangers, lots of guards, locked doors. K, back to lunch. We wait to be let out and tell them we are eating outside at the picnic tables across from our entrance door. Off we go. While we're eating our lunch and getting to know each other we realize there is a deputy outside, he's guarding us. My state of mind has been set to CYA (cover your ass) as it is--all this guarding only heightens that state of mind.
We stay outside as long as we can, with only short "comfort breaks" where I convinced non-smokers to go outside with smokers so we all could have sunshine and fresh air, and lunch time, we are inside a building so we take full advantage of the whole hour to be outside. That's pretty much how it goes for all the remaining days of the trial. A couple of times when we had much longer breaks we walked a block away for coffee, other than that we three stayed right there with our guards.
I think that's all the really wordy stuff so I'll make a part three about the trial part and try not to write a novel?
Friday, March 20, 2009
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