Robert Fulghum:
"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death."
My friend Claire left that quote for me last year, and I think it really is true.
I say it's that day again, and it is. But you know, it is that day every day. There isn't a day when I don't think of Zach, when I don't miss him. I don't believe there ever will be. Every day something reminds me of him, something makes me long for a different outcome. Its just the way it is.
Today is five years and it still feels the same...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
More poop disaster *sigh*
I have a good reason for saving up posts. I actually when I thought of something I wanted to say just made a one word post and saved it so I could remember what the hell I was thinking.
The Widget is still sick. While I'm trying to contact references, re-writing my resume in three forms, and applying for jobs, the dog is puking and pooping and doing some strange stretching and twisting. She was so uncomfortable but didn't seem in pain. I can't figure it out, I call the vet and in we go on a Saturday. I have to drop her off and leave her there. We're going to give her barium and watch as it moves through her tummy. Something appears to be in there that doesn't belong. Now mind you, we've already paid a ton of money for this whatever it is and here I am making more bills to pay.
So, several hours later the vet calls and back we go. We're looking at x-rays of Widget's tummy and there IS something in there, heaven knows what. It appears that while she was at the bed and breakfast during our trip home for the holidays she's ingested *something* The something is causing chaos in Widgie's body and her white count is going skyward and she's a mess. Now we have to either get the something to come out, or have surgery to get the something out. Vet wants to delay surgery for another day to maybe let the magic barium "push it through." Ok. Home we go, armed with more antibiotics, pain killers, food supplements.
Back we go the next day. More x-rays. OOO Look! The lovely chalky barium stuff has moved the something. YAY No surgery. But it's still in there. Home we go. Keeping watch on the Widget. More puke, more poop.
The next day, we're walking our morning walk and whatever the something is COMES OUT. Back to the vet, more x-rays. YAY It's OUT. Still antibiotics, food supplements (of good enzymes like we eat in yogurt...yogurt is HELLA cheaper than THIS stuf though, trust me.) But finally, she's eating and not puking and not pooping.
Now for cleaning the entire house carpeting for the second time this month...
Total bill: $732
The Widget will never be going back to that bed and breakfast again, she will be staying with the vet, who puts her in with the cats because in the vet's words "the dogs are too loud and boisterous for her." and won't let her eat things that make her sick and cost us nearly $1,000 dollars. Lord, help me.
The Widget is still sick. While I'm trying to contact references, re-writing my resume in three forms, and applying for jobs, the dog is puking and pooping and doing some strange stretching and twisting. She was so uncomfortable but didn't seem in pain. I can't figure it out, I call the vet and in we go on a Saturday. I have to drop her off and leave her there. We're going to give her barium and watch as it moves through her tummy. Something appears to be in there that doesn't belong. Now mind you, we've already paid a ton of money for this whatever it is and here I am making more bills to pay.
So, several hours later the vet calls and back we go. We're looking at x-rays of Widget's tummy and there IS something in there, heaven knows what. It appears that while she was at the bed and breakfast during our trip home for the holidays she's ingested *something* The something is causing chaos in Widgie's body and her white count is going skyward and she's a mess. Now we have to either get the something to come out, or have surgery to get the something out. Vet wants to delay surgery for another day to maybe let the magic barium "push it through." Ok. Home we go, armed with more antibiotics, pain killers, food supplements.
Back we go the next day. More x-rays. OOO Look! The lovely chalky barium stuff has moved the something. YAY No surgery. But it's still in there. Home we go. Keeping watch on the Widget. More puke, more poop.
The next day, we're walking our morning walk and whatever the something is COMES OUT. Back to the vet, more x-rays. YAY It's OUT. Still antibiotics, food supplements (of good enzymes like we eat in yogurt...yogurt is HELLA cheaper than THIS stuf though, trust me.) But finally, she's eating and not puking and not pooping.
Now for cleaning the entire house carpeting for the second time this month...
Total bill: $732
The Widget will never be going back to that bed and breakfast again, she will be staying with the vet, who puts her in with the cats because in the vet's words "the dogs are too loud and boisterous for her." and won't let her eat things that make her sick and cost us nearly $1,000 dollars. Lord, help me.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I want to hold MY husband's hand.
I'm jealous. I've seen the Obamas holding hands all damn day and I would just like to hold my husband's hand.
It sounds silly doesn't it? Everyone talks about what being a military family is like, what we miss, what we sacrifice. For me, I was thinking, it's not being able to hold my husbands hand. Sometimes its just as small as that and those small things add up to a big price we pay for being a military family. Small things, all day, every day.
So anyway, I'm done whining.
We have a new president and lets hope he is a good one. I sent my husband a smart-ass text message telling him he had a new boss at noon. He was too busy working yet another 17 hour day to pay attention to the inauguration. Imagine that.
As always, I will respect the office and support our president.
I am happy that the new first lady appears to be paying attention -- perhaps this will help keep what few benefits we have intact and keep the military budget from being shredded into oblivion. Mostly though, I hope the new guy actually listens to boots on the ground.
Carry on. :)
It sounds silly doesn't it? Everyone talks about what being a military family is like, what we miss, what we sacrifice. For me, I was thinking, it's not being able to hold my husbands hand. Sometimes its just as small as that and those small things add up to a big price we pay for being a military family. Small things, all day, every day.
So anyway, I'm done whining.
We have a new president and lets hope he is a good one. I sent my husband a smart-ass text message telling him he had a new boss at noon. He was too busy working yet another 17 hour day to pay attention to the inauguration. Imagine that.
As always, I will respect the office and support our president.
I am happy that the new first lady appears to be paying attention -- perhaps this will help keep what few benefits we have intact and keep the military budget from being shredded into oblivion. Mostly though, I hope the new guy actually listens to boots on the ground.
Carry on. :)
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Janelle
When I was a little girl, growing up in a suburb of Baltimore called Towson, I had lots of little friends. Today Janelle came to mind. Janelle was one of my favorite friends and she was black. I remember clearly that when we visited each others houses we were always escorted by my mother or her grandmother. There was some particular line, going into each others neighborhoods, we didn't cross it without having an adult with us. This was 1962 or 63. (I know, I'm old) Little white girls didn't go to Janelle's neighborhood and little black girls didn't go to mine without an adult. I'm not sure we actually knew why, but we knew those were the rules.
Thinking about the coming inauguration and Dr. Martin Luther King...I am so happy that if it were today, Janelle and I could be friends without escort, without fear. There has been some progress and progress is good.
Thinking about the coming inauguration and Dr. Martin Luther King...I am so happy that if it were today, Janelle and I could be friends without escort, without fear. There has been some progress and progress is good.
Friday, January 16, 2009
"Call on God, but row away from the rocks."
Yeah. I was listening to some random thing on tv and working hard to get through the federal application system before a Saturday deadline when the news popped in with a plane in the Hudson.
Part of what I was thinking was about how the people of New York City must have felt as they witnessed that sight or heard that sound. The other part was how absolutely, without question, I am not a sheep. I am a sheepdog.
I have traveled a great deal over the course of my career and my life, almost always by plane. There is never a time that I settle in my seat (which I have always chosen to be in the front of the plane or by the wings)without knowing which direction and how many seat backs are between me and the exits, without sizing up where are the children, the elderly, who will need assistance, without having put my little tiny travel purse through the loops of my jeans so that it stays attached to my body and not in my backpack which WILL be left behind. I wear jeans when I fly and I have actually shown up at board meetings in some "other" city, wearing jeans and boots because my plane was late and I refuse to travel in heels and a skirt and insist on wearing cotton and sensible shoes. Yep, I actually do all these things when I fly. Nobody knows it but me, and now you. I suppose I have always thought of how much fun would be made of me if people knew I did this ritual getting on a plane.
The flight attendants, they aren't there to give you coffee or a coke or pretzels, they really aren't. They are there for just this reason, to bark orders at you to do the right thing at the right time so the odds of your survival in an emergency go up. The crew in the cockpit, all those hours of training, all that experience. Sometimes I will laugh to myself when we have a particularly hard or short landing and think "this guy flew for the Navy" and all the while I am grateful for their experience.
Those people all lived. Part of that was luck, but luck IS made and that crew, and particularly that captain, are sheepdogs.
The other thing I thought and Lisa said, was how wonderful it must have been for the first responders to be able to successfully rescue people, scared, cold and grateful people. That had to be good for them.
I'm not afraid of flying, I just like to have all the tools I can at my disposal for "just in case".
random thoughts...
Part of what I was thinking was about how the people of New York City must have felt as they witnessed that sight or heard that sound. The other part was how absolutely, without question, I am not a sheep. I am a sheepdog.
I have traveled a great deal over the course of my career and my life, almost always by plane. There is never a time that I settle in my seat (which I have always chosen to be in the front of the plane or by the wings)without knowing which direction and how many seat backs are between me and the exits, without sizing up where are the children, the elderly, who will need assistance, without having put my little tiny travel purse through the loops of my jeans so that it stays attached to my body and not in my backpack which WILL be left behind. I wear jeans when I fly and I have actually shown up at board meetings in some "other" city, wearing jeans and boots because my plane was late and I refuse to travel in heels and a skirt and insist on wearing cotton and sensible shoes. Yep, I actually do all these things when I fly. Nobody knows it but me, and now you. I suppose I have always thought of how much fun would be made of me if people knew I did this ritual getting on a plane.
The flight attendants, they aren't there to give you coffee or a coke or pretzels, they really aren't. They are there for just this reason, to bark orders at you to do the right thing at the right time so the odds of your survival in an emergency go up. The crew in the cockpit, all those hours of training, all that experience. Sometimes I will laugh to myself when we have a particularly hard or short landing and think "this guy flew for the Navy" and all the while I am grateful for their experience.
Those people all lived. Part of that was luck, but luck IS made and that crew, and particularly that captain, are sheepdogs.
The other thing I thought and Lisa said, was how wonderful it must have been for the first responders to be able to successfully rescue people, scared, cold and grateful people. That had to be good for them.
I'm not afraid of flying, I just like to have all the tools I can at my disposal for "just in case".
random thoughts...
Friday, January 9, 2009
Well I'm grown up, now what do I want to be?
I call it the "financial debacle" really I should call it something else but I can't find words other than things like "sea of dishonest idiots" or "stupid greedy asshats" Yeah, you can tell I'm not impressed. :)
So I'm going back to work and this is going to be a good thing in the long run. It will get me back out into the regular world and maybe I can have a social life and some local friends. The thing is, what am I going to actually DO?
I haven't worked in ten years so there is a LOT in my field that I have no clue about. I have a BA in accounting and economics and an MBA in finance and marketing. I'm really good at being a number cruncher but I don't want to. I never have really wanted to, I just took that path because I wanted to be always able to support Zach. Really I'm a social worker kind of person or an animal/nature kind of person. I've always found ways to work in those environments and now I'm going to do that again. I hope.
I had my own consulting business after failing miserably at being happy in a job as comptroller of a manufacturing company. I sold that business after ten years of working long days and constant travel so that I could be more available for Zach during his high school years. That really meant keep his ass in line and on track and out of trouble during a time I felt was particularly dangerous and not miss every single soccer and lacrosse game because I was in Washington DC or somewhere being pissed off by politicians and trying to change the world. :)
During Zach's high school years I worked at a national wildlife refuge for its non-profit friends group. THAT was my favorite job. I'm hoping to go back to something like that.
I'm blessed to be good at lots of things but that is also a curse. You have to figure out what thing you want to do. If I'm going back to work it needs to be something I actually want to do. Lots of thinking before applying.
It's all scary. I'm working on getting over that and poor you guys, you get to listen to my willy-nilly thoughts...now I'll go back to working on gathering references and re-writing my ancient resume. UGH
So I'm going back to work and this is going to be a good thing in the long run. It will get me back out into the regular world and maybe I can have a social life and some local friends. The thing is, what am I going to actually DO?
I haven't worked in ten years so there is a LOT in my field that I have no clue about. I have a BA in accounting and economics and an MBA in finance and marketing. I'm really good at being a number cruncher but I don't want to. I never have really wanted to, I just took that path because I wanted to be always able to support Zach. Really I'm a social worker kind of person or an animal/nature kind of person. I've always found ways to work in those environments and now I'm going to do that again. I hope.
I had my own consulting business after failing miserably at being happy in a job as comptroller of a manufacturing company. I sold that business after ten years of working long days and constant travel so that I could be more available for Zach during his high school years. That really meant keep his ass in line and on track and out of trouble during a time I felt was particularly dangerous and not miss every single soccer and lacrosse game because I was in Washington DC or somewhere being pissed off by politicians and trying to change the world. :)
During Zach's high school years I worked at a national wildlife refuge for its non-profit friends group. THAT was my favorite job. I'm hoping to go back to something like that.
I'm blessed to be good at lots of things but that is also a curse. You have to figure out what thing you want to do. If I'm going back to work it needs to be something I actually want to do. Lots of thinking before applying.
It's all scary. I'm working on getting over that and poor you guys, you get to listen to my willy-nilly thoughts...now I'll go back to working on gathering references and re-writing my ancient resume. UGH
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Happy 2009
Maybe we can do better this year? That's a lot of maybe isn't it. One can hope.
I'm such a doofus, on our way to the frozen tundra we flew through Detroit and not Chicago. We got lucky. LT Dan and I sat on the back porch the morning of the day we were supposed to leave and actually tried to figure out ways NOT to go. LOL We really did. It was a gorgeous Sunny Place winter day, 80 and blue skies. We looked at the approaching blizzard and it's ice storm partner and just withered. We went anyway, oh the power of our Mothers, if they only knew.
It's highly annoying, this new thing the airlines are doing. I knew we would pay for checking our bags, what I didn't know was the thing I by-passed while poking buttons on the check in kiosk was my opportunity to PAY for the privilege of actually sitting WITH my husband. WTF. Just put it all in the ticket price and be done with it...good grief! So we did not sit together on the way to Detroit, it could have been worse, at least I was sitting right behind him, both of us in the "coveted middle seat."
I tried to sleep, but there was this little group behind me, very chatty lady with a big voice chatting away non-stop to another lady, while her husband is simultaneously reading her the Bible as though she is actually listening. Very strange. When I finally did fall asleep the lady decided to show her friend something about her camera, so every change she made the camera beeped...alarm clock effect. Never mind sleeping. The flight ended with her reading the Sky Mall catalog complete with opinion of each item, while husband is still reading the Bible. *blink*
We ended up boarding our next flight almost two hours late, we got to sit by each other! Then sat on the runway waiting for deicing for yet another hour. UGH. We arrived in the frozen tundra four hours late and drove to our hotel (35 miles) in an ice/snow storm. LT Dan rocks at driving thank goodness. Two planes that landed after we did slid off the runway...ummm we got lucky.
Our time with my family was wonderful and all I hoped it would be. This was LT Dan's first opportunity to actually spend time with my brothers and sister under normal circumstances, and they him. They met first the day of Zach's funeral. It was unfair to him and to them.
We left my family on Saturday and drove through yet another ice storm to LT Dan's family. LT Dan rocked once again at driving and our decision to head out at 0 dark 100 to beat the majority of the ice storm paid off. We had an hour of crap driving and then it was all clear. LT Dan even had to deal with people spinning out and ending up coming the wrong direction toward us on the interstate. He really does have his awesome moments.
Now I can make a list...
Northwest Airlines needs to stop with the weird ticketing stuff and just put it all up front.
My Mom made us two beautiful pieces of needlework, they are shells and her work is just amazing and perfect and I swear I will never get to her level. I'll post pictures once I get them taken.
Dan got to laugh and joke and see what really good people my brothers and sister are, and how cute his new nieces and nephews are too. An aside- my brothers are Hawkeyes (University of Iowa) graduates and Dan is a Husker (University of Nebraska) graduate...there was much jabbing and stabbing :D
Dan's parents got into wine this year. YAY
I got an awesome big girl corkscrew thingy from Dan's parents and I love it.
We had a family picture taken with Dan's family and individual ones of us and then I helped frame and hang them all in his parents house with my sister in law and I doing the work and Mom supervising. It was FUN. Wine followed our accomplishment!
My sister in law who is the most artistic creative person ever (she's an art teacher) made me silver sea turtle earrings and they are just perfect. I am a sea turtle person. She always makes me the most wonderful things. The Christmas Zach was in Iraq she made me a stained glass blue star flag to hang in my window. I bawled like a baby when I opened that one.
We saw Dan's best friend from college and had a really great night talking and drinking, well, ok, they drank, I just sipped a Kahlua and milk. They asked me if I was punishing myself *eyeroll* no...you silly men are going to hurt in the morning and I'll be FINE. I left them to their own devices at 1am, I think LT Dan fell on the bed and bounced me in the air at around 03:30. LOL They were hurtin units the next morning. Still, it was good to see each other again.
New years day we took our long walk on the beach and this year it was sunny and perfect. We went to the Greek place and stuffed ourselves with giros and then walked a long way on the beach, had coffee and came home. 2009 began right...now lets just carry on with that trend, shall we?
Happy New Year my friends, thank you for your warm welcome back.
I'm such a doofus, on our way to the frozen tundra we flew through Detroit and not Chicago. We got lucky. LT Dan and I sat on the back porch the morning of the day we were supposed to leave and actually tried to figure out ways NOT to go. LOL We really did. It was a gorgeous Sunny Place winter day, 80 and blue skies. We looked at the approaching blizzard and it's ice storm partner and just withered. We went anyway, oh the power of our Mothers, if they only knew.
It's highly annoying, this new thing the airlines are doing. I knew we would pay for checking our bags, what I didn't know was the thing I by-passed while poking buttons on the check in kiosk was my opportunity to PAY for the privilege of actually sitting WITH my husband. WTF. Just put it all in the ticket price and be done with it...good grief! So we did not sit together on the way to Detroit, it could have been worse, at least I was sitting right behind him, both of us in the "coveted middle seat."
I tried to sleep, but there was this little group behind me, very chatty lady with a big voice chatting away non-stop to another lady, while her husband is simultaneously reading her the Bible as though she is actually listening. Very strange. When I finally did fall asleep the lady decided to show her friend something about her camera, so every change she made the camera beeped...alarm clock effect. Never mind sleeping. The flight ended with her reading the Sky Mall catalog complete with opinion of each item, while husband is still reading the Bible. *blink*
We ended up boarding our next flight almost two hours late, we got to sit by each other! Then sat on the runway waiting for deicing for yet another hour. UGH. We arrived in the frozen tundra four hours late and drove to our hotel (35 miles) in an ice/snow storm. LT Dan rocks at driving thank goodness. Two planes that landed after we did slid off the runway...ummm we got lucky.
Our time with my family was wonderful and all I hoped it would be. This was LT Dan's first opportunity to actually spend time with my brothers and sister under normal circumstances, and they him. They met first the day of Zach's funeral. It was unfair to him and to them.
We left my family on Saturday and drove through yet another ice storm to LT Dan's family. LT Dan rocked once again at driving and our decision to head out at 0 dark 100 to beat the majority of the ice storm paid off. We had an hour of crap driving and then it was all clear. LT Dan even had to deal with people spinning out and ending up coming the wrong direction toward us on the interstate. He really does have his awesome moments.
Now I can make a list...
Northwest Airlines needs to stop with the weird ticketing stuff and just put it all up front.
My Mom made us two beautiful pieces of needlework, they are shells and her work is just amazing and perfect and I swear I will never get to her level. I'll post pictures once I get them taken.
Dan got to laugh and joke and see what really good people my brothers and sister are, and how cute his new nieces and nephews are too. An aside- my brothers are Hawkeyes (University of Iowa) graduates and Dan is a Husker (University of Nebraska) graduate...there was much jabbing and stabbing :D
Dan's parents got into wine this year. YAY
I got an awesome big girl corkscrew thingy from Dan's parents and I love it.
We had a family picture taken with Dan's family and individual ones of us and then I helped frame and hang them all in his parents house with my sister in law and I doing the work and Mom supervising. It was FUN. Wine followed our accomplishment!
My sister in law who is the most artistic creative person ever (she's an art teacher) made me silver sea turtle earrings and they are just perfect. I am a sea turtle person. She always makes me the most wonderful things. The Christmas Zach was in Iraq she made me a stained glass blue star flag to hang in my window. I bawled like a baby when I opened that one.
We saw Dan's best friend from college and had a really great night talking and drinking, well, ok, they drank, I just sipped a Kahlua and milk. They asked me if I was punishing myself *eyeroll* no...you silly men are going to hurt in the morning and I'll be FINE. I left them to their own devices at 1am, I think LT Dan fell on the bed and bounced me in the air at around 03:30. LOL They were hurtin units the next morning. Still, it was good to see each other again.
New years day we took our long walk on the beach and this year it was sunny and perfect. We went to the Greek place and stuffed ourselves with giros and then walked a long way on the beach, had coffee and came home. 2009 began right...now lets just carry on with that trend, shall we?
Happy New Year my friends, thank you for your warm welcome back.
Playing catch up
I'll try not to be too long-winded.
LT Dan and I had our first official anniversary, October 1, but for me October 2 was the more important day. That was the day he didn't die from the pulmonary embolism. LT Dan made reservations at a nice restaurant that we had looked at before (this is WAY out of character for him btw) and the Georgia weather was perfect. We ate a great dinner and dessert on the patio and drank mojitos and really had the perfect anniversary celebration.
We also found out the Army really did permanently break LT Dan and began the Medical Board process. I can't say much about that except that it really is the suck. It is so many things...hard to swallow, disappointment, anxiety, uncertainty and lastly LONG. Somewhere along the way I'll post about that at least in a personal way, though I can't really say much about the official part of the process. Say a little prayer for us would you? And please can I stay in what Susan called "the club" because I think without that connection I might really lose my mind.
I'm skipping the election on purpose, though I am glad so many people actually participated.
Thanksgiving was not our normal one, but we had a nice weekend still. I went up to The Cave and got all the yummy wonderful things for dinner, just modified a bit for two people. A turkey breast, sweet potato cassarole (addictive stuff that is), sausage apple stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry stuff, and pumpkin pie. We ate varieties of Thanksgiving the entire four day weekend! It was pleasant and we did nothing much. I like it much better when he comes to The Sunny Place and we have family here.
December the financial debacle came home to roost and I found out my income for 2009 went down the toilet. While I have much to say on that topic, I'll just say that so I don't degenerate into paragraphs of bad words. So now, while I don't know if we are in the Army or out, have health insurance or not, living here or living there...I have to find a job. I haven't really worked in ten years, I have no idea what I'm going to do and I'm not even sure there will be a job for me to GET. This whole idea is wonderful on the one hand and terrifying on the other. You will no doubt be hearing more about this one too because I just know I'm going to need some encouragement along the way.
k that about brings me to another post about December and holidays :) I sorta caught up.
LT Dan and I had our first official anniversary, October 1, but for me October 2 was the more important day. That was the day he didn't die from the pulmonary embolism. LT Dan made reservations at a nice restaurant that we had looked at before (this is WAY out of character for him btw) and the Georgia weather was perfect. We ate a great dinner and dessert on the patio and drank mojitos and really had the perfect anniversary celebration.
We also found out the Army really did permanently break LT Dan and began the Medical Board process. I can't say much about that except that it really is the suck. It is so many things...hard to swallow, disappointment, anxiety, uncertainty and lastly LONG. Somewhere along the way I'll post about that at least in a personal way, though I can't really say much about the official part of the process. Say a little prayer for us would you? And please can I stay in what Susan called "the club" because I think without that connection I might really lose my mind.
I'm skipping the election on purpose, though I am glad so many people actually participated.
Thanksgiving was not our normal one, but we had a nice weekend still. I went up to The Cave and got all the yummy wonderful things for dinner, just modified a bit for two people. A turkey breast, sweet potato cassarole (addictive stuff that is), sausage apple stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry stuff, and pumpkin pie. We ate varieties of Thanksgiving the entire four day weekend! It was pleasant and we did nothing much. I like it much better when he comes to The Sunny Place and we have family here.
December the financial debacle came home to roost and I found out my income for 2009 went down the toilet. While I have much to say on that topic, I'll just say that so I don't degenerate into paragraphs of bad words. So now, while I don't know if we are in the Army or out, have health insurance or not, living here or living there...I have to find a job. I haven't really worked in ten years, I have no idea what I'm going to do and I'm not even sure there will be a job for me to GET. This whole idea is wonderful on the one hand and terrifying on the other. You will no doubt be hearing more about this one too because I just know I'm going to need some encouragement along the way.
k that about brings me to another post about December and holidays :) I sorta caught up.
A long time ago...
I had a birthday. The birthday wasn't so bad, but certainly it was down hill from there. The national financial debacle began, my husband began the medical board process, my Dad forgot who I was. Then suddenly it was Zach's birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas, and now it's January.
The four months starting in October with Zach's birthday and ending in January with the day he died are the hardest of the year for me. I try really hard to focus on what I have and not what I don't, but it really is difficult. This year it was just overwhelming. I have no idea why, it just was. I sank like a stone. I think it was Lee Anne who once said when things go wrong for her she retreats inside herself and hides. I did that. I wasn't talking here because I could not for the life of me find anything I wanted to say that had even a glimmer of hope in it.
I'm coming out of my little hidey-hole now and will be making random comments on your blog posts that I should have done when I read the post and didn't. I'm sorry for that. I actually was reading, just not being responsive. So here I come and then I'll blab some more in yet another post. I might actually try being true to blogging even, especially if I can take a lesson from Loqi and actually open up and talk about it!
The four months starting in October with Zach's birthday and ending in January with the day he died are the hardest of the year for me. I try really hard to focus on what I have and not what I don't, but it really is difficult. This year it was just overwhelming. I have no idea why, it just was. I sank like a stone. I think it was Lee Anne who once said when things go wrong for her she retreats inside herself and hides. I did that. I wasn't talking here because I could not for the life of me find anything I wanted to say that had even a glimmer of hope in it.
I'm coming out of my little hidey-hole now and will be making random comments on your blog posts that I should have done when I read the post and didn't. I'm sorry for that. I actually was reading, just not being responsive. So here I come and then I'll blab some more in yet another post. I might actually try being true to blogging even, especially if I can take a lesson from Loqi and actually open up and talk about it!
Poop disaster update. poor Widget
I hope it's over now. Widget was sick, it really wasn't her fault we were having a poop disaster. A visit to the vet and a big bill and a big bag of drugs for the dog later...we might be getting better today. She has eye drops, and stuff to add to her food, and antibiotics, and a pill. Weeee fun.
She did sleep through the night and not sneak anywhere to leave poop for me to wake up to--can you hear the angels singing?
She did sleep through the night and not sneak anywhere to leave poop for me to wake up to--can you hear the angels singing?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Poop Disaster
Yes. I said it. Poop Disaster. I don't have kids so the universe decided I should have poop from another source. Maybe since The Mrs hasn't told a poop story recently it was my turn. *insert laughter and hugs for the Mrs here* Or something. Widget is pooping. Not a lot, just enough to make me insane. You have to understand, if you have seen the movie Wall-E, I'm Mo. LT Dan and Lisa call me Mo quite a LOT. Poop.on my carpet.makes me crazy.
I've cleaned the carpets, the entire house. I was hoping (no, make that praying) that she was done, but 'lo this morning, more poop in the hall and the guest room. I'm out of stuff to clean up poop with.
Widget will never go to that "bed and breakfast" to stay ever again. Tonight she may find herself sleeping in the kitchen. Enough is enough.
I promise to make the post I was really going to make later today, right now I have to go to the store and get pet stain stuff then see if the baby steam cleaner will fix this. Or maybe I'll have to haul out the big one and clean the guest room and hall yet again.
I've cleaned the carpets, the entire house. I was hoping (no, make that praying) that she was done, but 'lo this morning, more poop in the hall and the guest room. I'm out of stuff to clean up poop with.
Widget will never go to that "bed and breakfast" to stay ever again. Tonight she may find herself sleeping in the kitchen. Enough is enough.
I promise to make the post I was really going to make later today, right now I have to go to the store and get pet stain stuff then see if the baby steam cleaner will fix this. Or maybe I'll have to haul out the big one and clean the guest room and hall yet again.
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