I had a birthday. The birthday wasn't so bad, but certainly it was down hill from there. The national financial debacle began, my husband began the medical board process, my Dad forgot who I was. Then suddenly it was Zach's birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas, and now it's January.
The four months starting in October with Zach's birthday and ending in January with the day he died are the hardest of the year for me. I try really hard to focus on what I have and not what I don't, but it really is difficult. This year it was just overwhelming. I have no idea why, it just was. I sank like a stone. I think it was Lee Anne who once said when things go wrong for her she retreats inside herself and hides. I did that. I wasn't talking here because I could not for the life of me find anything I wanted to say that had even a glimmer of hope in it.
I'm coming out of my little hidey-hole now and will be making random comments on your blog posts that I should have done when I read the post and didn't. I'm sorry for that. I actually was reading, just not being responsive. So here I come and then I'll blab some more in yet another post. I might actually try being true to blogging even, especially if I can take a lesson from Loqi and actually open up and talk about it!
3 comments:
Welcome back to blogland! And, I'm hoping that the words will come to you, and that when they do, they give you all the comfort you need.
I am glad to be of some inspiration to you! I have been a bit "lurky" myself lately, and have been trying to come out of it as well... Glad you are finding your way out your difficult time of the year. :)
Glad to have you back! I hope that 2009 is good to you!
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