Conversations

Sometimes being in this sort of military limbo LT Dan and I are in...well, it leaves me sitting here singing the "all by myself" song. Now LT Dan and I have been together these 7 years, but we just got married. That makes me yes *gasp* a newlywed, more than that, a military wife.

It isn't the nomenclature, the process or any of that, I was an Army Mom for a good number of years. I survived my son's 13 month deployment. I survived losing him. I had a military family that I still have (only now its much bigger). It's the emotional place, the commitment, this whole military wife thing is life-altering in ways I hadn't considered and have only now after nearly two years dealing with it come to realize.

Soooo I found SpouseBUZZ , then I found several military spouses who have blogs. LT Dan said "oh boy, like a kid in a candy store." Yeah. Mostly though, it's finding other people who, like me, have to deal, and embrace the suck. I'm not singing the all by myself song quite so much any more. Butterfly Wife understands why I want a teleporter and Non-Essential Equipment understands Guilt Trips . We are making one of those for more than one third of our Exodus time. Well sortof. I'm thinking NEE could teach me a few things about begging forgiveness as opposed to asking permission too!

But anyway, back to what I was thinking. Last night I went to a neighborhood Ladies Night. It was themed for Christmas and you brought soup and a ten dollar gift. Cool, ok, I haven't been to one in the whole year I've lived here so I'll go. I made taco soup and trotted up to the lodge being all brave and such. The soup was a hit, I didn't have any left to bring home. But when we get into conversation, now, I am become Alien. The usual "whot dew yew dew" questions...I am retired and a military wife. I watch, they blink, then they don't know what to say. Well, where is he? I tell them. Well how do you do THAT? I say I commute a lot, I spend ten days here at our home and two weeks there at our home, or he comes here. Well, what if *insert random variable here*. Oh Lord, have mercy. If we weren't in military/injury limbo (long story, some other post some other day) we would make some decisions about our living situation but right now, no. We commute. We talk on the phone and on instant messenger. I leave him enough food in the fridge and freezer to last (usually) until I am there again.

I came home, read the other wives blogs and felt all better. At least...to them, I don't have to explain very much at all. They are there, I am here, we don't really have conversations, but I know they are there and they know I am here and if I needed to I would ask for help and I would get it. So I am not become Alien all the way at least. Only sometimes. LOL