Conversations

"Looks like a tornado came through here"

"I imagine so, you have things all over the place?"

"Except the things I'm trying to keep track of. Those are in good shape. "

"Well once those things go out then the rest can get a little more orderly."

"See, from where I'm sitting right now, I don't have the highest of hopes. If it was under, near by, behind, next to, or in any other way remotely related to a piece of my TA-50 -- it kinda just got.. discarded randomly to "some other place not where my TA-50 is. Tornado."

"We have extra blue bin things, we can fix it."

"I also have this cool collection of upside down canteens going on propped against the arm of the sofa balancing on the edge of the ottoman. I'm going to be kinda sorry to see that go."

"Well, you could take a picture."

"I also might have to turn on the heat. that or add a kevlar chin strap and webbing to the already stunning brass decor of our chandelier for about 36 hours. They don't seem to want to dry."

"Perhaps you should hang the kevlar and webbing on the chandelier AND turn the heat on."

"Well see. there's an issue with the chin strap. I couldn't get it off the kevlar (it went through the dishwasher)"

"Ummm"

"I'm not sure it would be good to hang the whole helmet from the fixture."

"Try the shower curtain rod?"

"I seriously doubt that's as sturdy as the light fixture."

"Why do I have this feeling nothing smells good at home right now?"

Christmas Assimilation

We traveled for the Christmas holiday. The Midwest is cold. I knew this. I moved for a reason. It was really fun to be there and have woobe my shearling coat. It goes to my ankles and when I put the hood up I look like a little tiny monk or something. Travel actually went well. We shipped the presents ahead and they arrived all in one piece. We were delayed three hours in Houston (not bad at all compared to other places) and got to sit and watch the perfect family and the not so perfect family with bronchitis boy. The perfect family had three children, two girls and a boy, all young grade schoolers. The parents traded off, each child was rotating through a parent lap, playing on his or her own, and chatting along with the full attention of the parent--amazing. Suddenly Dad gets up and says "I need ice cream, who is going with me?!" Nice. Of course when they returned with ice cream Lt Dan wanted to steal the little boy's ice cream, saying "well, he's not EATING HIS!" Oh my.

The not so perfect family had a maybe six year old and bronchitis boy who was 16-18 months. Six year old is running all over the airport being obnoxious, more especially to this other six year old who had a toy he wanted to play with. Dad is standing waaay over there by the window doing nothing about anything. Mom is trying to contain screaming bronchitis boy in her lap and control the six year old all the while giving Dad dirty looks. It wasn't pretty. Of course not so perfect family is on our plane. Better yet, Dad and obnoxious child are in the seats in front of us, Mom and bronchitis boy are in the seat behind me. Perfect. The flight was three hours, bronchitis boy screamed, kicked my seat, beat his head on my seat nearly the entire time. Poor thing probably couldn't clear his ears and I imagine it hurt. Lt Dan slept through the whole thing while I practiced my compassion and understanding skills HARD.

I was assimilated. Yep. I am now part of the family I guess. Or at least as much as could be. We really had a very good time at my in-laws, I enjoyed it far more than I expected to. Really it was just a wonderful pleasant trip. I did my best to find my "place" and do what I could do to help with all the dinners and work generated by our visit and the holiday. I hope I did well, this was my first experience with the family since we were married. Lt Dan was awesome and full of surprises. The little things mean so much. Bringing me coffee in the morning so I could wake up in a somewhat normal way for me, coming to find me and give me a hug if I disappeared too long, just lots of little things that were unexpected and very special.

We made the trip to our trusted jewelry store the very next morning after we arrived, first thing when they opened. There is a whole wedding ring saga story but I'll skip that for now, suffice it to say the first one didn't work out, it kept trying to lose bits of itself until we finally asked for our money back. Lt Dan promised me it wasn't an omen! We had designed my wedding ring already on line but I was sure we were not going to be able to get it what with the holidays and such. The salesman brought the rings we had chosen and then we needed to pick the diamond for the engagement ring. Lt Dan was not happy with the size of the diamond we initially chose so while I was in the ladies room he told the salesman his budget and a much bigger diamond appeared. Wow. My rings are just so lovely and I am dazzled by them. Lt Dan strikes again when you least expect it. Gotta love him.

We did get to spend a few days before and a few days after here at home in the Sunny Place. That was the most wonderful thing for both of us I think. This is the first extended period of time we have gotten to spend in the Sunny Place house and it just felt so good. We did our New Year's Day walk on the beach, I took him to the Greek place for gyros and mimosas and we walked around a bay side neighborhood looking at houses and dream shopping. I was amazed he could do that walk and worried so much about his leg while we were doing it but we had a wonderful time. Happy New Year.

We travelled back to The Cave (that would be the apartment we have where Lt Dan is currently stationed) on the 2nd and signed in from leave. Spent the weekend together and now here I am, back at the Sunny Place getting ready to go to the dentist. Weeee. Such is our lives and its all as good as it can be. It is what it is.

Conversations

Sometimes being in this sort of military limbo LT Dan and I are in...well, it leaves me sitting here singing the "all by myself" song. Now LT Dan and I have been together these 7 years, but we just got married. That makes me yes *gasp* a newlywed, more than that, a military wife.

It isn't the nomenclature, the process or any of that, I was an Army Mom for a good number of years. I survived my son's 13 month deployment. I survived losing him. I had a military family that I still have (only now its much bigger). It's the emotional place, the commitment, this whole military wife thing is life-altering in ways I hadn't considered and have only now after nearly two years dealing with it come to realize.

Soooo I found SpouseBUZZ , then I found several military spouses who have blogs. LT Dan said "oh boy, like a kid in a candy store." Yeah. Mostly though, it's finding other people who, like me, have to deal, and embrace the suck. I'm not singing the all by myself song quite so much any more. Butterfly Wife understands why I want a teleporter and Non-Essential Equipment understands Guilt Trips . We are making one of those for more than one third of our Exodus time. Well sortof. I'm thinking NEE could teach me a few things about begging forgiveness as opposed to asking permission too!

But anyway, back to what I was thinking. Last night I went to a neighborhood Ladies Night. It was themed for Christmas and you brought soup and a ten dollar gift. Cool, ok, I haven't been to one in the whole year I've lived here so I'll go. I made taco soup and trotted up to the lodge being all brave and such. The soup was a hit, I didn't have any left to bring home. But when we get into conversation, now, I am become Alien. The usual "whot dew yew dew" questions...I am retired and a military wife. I watch, they blink, then they don't know what to say. Well, where is he? I tell them. Well how do you do THAT? I say I commute a lot, I spend ten days here at our home and two weeks there at our home, or he comes here. Well, what if *insert random variable here*. Oh Lord, have mercy. If we weren't in military/injury limbo (long story, some other post some other day) we would make some decisions about our living situation but right now, no. We commute. We talk on the phone and on instant messenger. I leave him enough food in the fridge and freezer to last (usually) until I am there again.

I came home, read the other wives blogs and felt all better. At least...to them, I don't have to explain very much at all. They are there, I am here, we don't really have conversations, but I know they are there and they know I am here and if I needed to I would ask for help and I would get it. So I am not become Alien all the way at least. Only sometimes. LOL

Yeah, I changed it

So I changed the name of my blog. On a whim. I'm like that. Mostly I did it for Beth. Beth was my best friend for 26 years. She had a sign over her desk, for as long as I can remember, that said" One by one, the penguins steal my sanity". Her Mom put a modified version of that on the back of her tombstone. We all agreed it belonged there.

Damn. I miss her so much. Especially at this time of year, there are no Beth goodies, no something weird made with chocolate, no little tiny loaves of yummy sweet breads, no slice and bake cookies (which I hated but I ate them anyway because she made them), no puppy chow (another weird thing made with chocolate.) If it was chocolate Beth was into it. If it was Christmas Beth was into it. If it was a penguin Beth was into it.

So here's to Beth. Fair winds and following seas dearest friend.